Friday, June 28, 2013

No Love For Germany (Or For The Ex-pat)

We are off exploring Denmark, Sweden, Estonia, and Russia right now. Enjoy this post in my absence. See you back on July 8th when I can tell you about it. (I am currently interested in finding bloggers who would like to post on my blog when I am off exploring every country in Europe. Are you an ex-pat or travel blogger? Would you like to guest post every now and then while I am gone? Email me or leave a comment below. I'd love to hear from you!)

I am feeling quite frustrated right now. I had no idea when I moved to Germany what I would be missing out on. Things that I totally took for granted when I lived on American soil.

Let's start with the television show The Office. I LOVE this show. My brother is exactly like Jim. Looks like him, talks like him, makes the same funny faces as him. And Jim is a pretty funny guy. I used to DVR the show and look forward to Thursday night when I could put my kids to bed and stay up with a pint of pear flavored ice cream (it's delicious) and watch The Office. Can't do that here. First, I don't have a DVR. Second, I can't find any stinking NBC to watch in the mix of German channels we get. Then I saw that NBC had an app for the iPad where you could watch your shows. I shouted in glee. Downloaded the app. Sat waiting in pure anticipation. And then this popped up on my screen.

What? Why can't I watch The Office in Germany? Why is Jim's humor, Pam's wit, and Dwight's schemes available only to people in the States? Don't they know that the writing of The Office could unite the world into a more peaceful and loving place? But NO. The Office has been placed in an unreachable nirvana to me. And now I have some crappy, useless NBC app on my iPad that mocks me every day.

But it doesn't end there. I read MSN and NBC news quite often, and I really enjoy funny clips that are usually attached to these articles. Guess what? Can't watch those either.


My friend emailed me and told me that I had to watch this hysterical video of sailors dancing to this Gangnam Style song. We weren't listening to German radio at the time (too many F words) so we had no idea what this song was. We pulled up You Tube and searched for it. And this is what we saw.

Yeah, right you're sorry. Now I'm just feeling picked on and left out. It's like there is this cool kids club that has all these inside jokes and neat places they go. And I catch snippets about how funny these things and awesome these places are. I try to follow these cool kids, but I get lost in the woods. Or in Germany's dang GEMA rights blahblahblah stuff. Doesn't anybody out there realize how unfunny the German people are? These people need sailors dancing to Gangnam Style. They need Jerry Seinfeld. Desperately!
It doesn't end there. My two teenaged children live and die by the clothes they wear. So obviously Hollister and Abercrombie & Fitch are staples around my house. They can be really expensive clothes. These brands are available to people here in Germany, but at full price in Euros at the mall. I snickered to myself. I had a way around that full price monster. I am on the email list to get 30% off coupons sent to me every couple of weeks. I would get that coupon, go to the website clearance section, and load up on these name-brand clothes for my kids. At least that is what I used to do. Imagine my surprise the first time I tried to enter the coupon at the check out and this is what I saw.


Are you kidding me?! All I want to do is buy my kids some stupid trendy clothes at discount prices and now I can't! Doesn't anybody know how expensive stuff is in Europe? We have to have discounts. We have to have coupons! For the love of all that is good, will someone please come to their senses and make these things available in Germany!

And just to add insult to injury, ever since I put my current city on Facebook as Heidelberg, I am besieged by ads in German. Slutty, lingerie ads a lot of the time. I get that Facebook is a multi-billion dollar company and they want to keep it free for their users so they have to put ads on there. But with all the things that Facebook is trying to do to make it easier for their customers, don't you think they could look at the language I post in and, I don't know, maybe put ads in that same freaking language? Hmmm? Just a suggestion from me to you, Facebook. If you ever want me to click on the those annoying side bar ads, make sure I can read them first.

Thank you for reading my mini-tantrum.
Peace out,

What things have you found worked differently for you since moving abroad?
PS Even if you are not an expat or travel blogger, but you can write a post that is relatable to my content, I would love to have a guest post from you. After all the discrimination I wrote about above, I really can't be discriminating myself, can I?


  1. Aaaaah, I hate GEMA with a passion!! I once tried to share a song with someone and took nearly an hour to find a version that youtube would play in Germany! Sooo annoying!

    Apparantly facebook not only bases its ads on what you write, but the people you're connected to... which is why 90% of my ads are for maternity clothing and baby things. Thanks Facebook, way to make me feel even worse about the fact that I'm approaching 30 and still childless...

  2. Try the ustv app on kindle. That and project free tv. I watched 2 hours of the next food network star yesterday. :)

  3. Wow, I had no idea! How frustrating is that!

  4. omg!!! i also live these exact same frustrations!! at least it wont be forever... ;)

  5. Use StrongVPN and you'll be watching your favorite shows in no time ;p

  6. Generally when you're living in another country, you more or less are supposed to get used to the differences there instead of expecting things to be the same as they are back home; otherwise there'd be no purpose in going there in the first place. If this whole post was meant to be facetious, then I apologize for ruining the joke (if there is one).
    - Josep


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