It's hot. It's like really hot. Hot for Germany, anyway. If you're used to like Dubai or Baghdad temps, you might not think it's that bad. I am not used to Dubai or Baghdad temps, so I am miserable. And it's not just Germany. The heat is all over Europe. I read an article about some feral cats that attacked a woman in France. Apparently you shouldn't mess with French cats. It would seem that officials speculated that these French cats attacked the woman because it's been so hot and so dry that the rodent population has considerably died off. I don't know how a cat goes from rodents to women, but it happened.
So how hot has it been?
And then it got even hotter.
These aren't the actual temperatures outside. But it is the temperature under the hood of my Volvo. My dark grey Volvo with black, leather interior. Yeah, what I thought was so cute and fashionable in car design last fall is looking like a big, fat mistake every time I leave the car with stitch marks burned on the backs of my thighs.
You might be thinking I am a big wimp. It's true. I am. You might also be thinking, 'Hey, didn't you grow up in the semi-desert-mountainous west of the United States where it can get really, really hot?'
Yes. I did. But the big difference between the semi-desert-mountainous west of the United States and Germany is one, minor detail. Air conditioning. Blessed, sweet, life sustaining air conditioning. My home was cooled with central air. When the wonderful temp of 75°F got to warm, we cranked the air conditioner down to 74. And not only did my home have air conditioning, every other place did too! Movie theaters - so air conditioned you had to bring a sweater! Grocery stores - air conditioned! Convenience stores - air conditioned! The local church - air conditioned! There was so much air conditioning going on that I am surprised we didn't just cool down the whole state to a more tolerable temperature.
Needless to point out, Germany does not embrace America's love of air conditioning.
I know that electricity and money and everything is different over here. But I think I've reached a point where I just don't care. I went to the local store yesterday and it was so warm in there that the Pfefferminz Rittersport (German peppermint flavored chocolate) candy bar I picked up was already melted and soft in the package! Argh! If no one will think of the poor, hot Germans, will you at least think about the chocolate?! Will someone PLEASE think of the chocolate?!
So what do we do, other than lick melted chocolate (hey, chocolate is chocolate, melted or not) out of a Rittersport package when it's hot? We set up our own version of central air.
Let me introduce you to the portable air conditioning unit and industrial size fan to blow it around the house. It has been so humid that we need to keep a condensation bin under the A/C unit. Not pretty, but it gets the job done.
Right now I am begging for cooler temps and rain.
It seems that I will get my wish.
PS - Remember back in the spring when I was complaining about how much rain we were getting? Read about that HERE. My how the tide has turned. Seems I begged for too much sun back then.
Before we moved to Germany, I became hooked on the show House Hunters International. In all the Germany episodes I noticed that it was often overcast or raining. I asked my husband, who has lived in and around Berlin, if this was an accurate weather sampling of Germany. "Oh no! It hardly ever rains there." He went on to tell me that the weather was similar to where we grew up, the mountainous/desert area of the western United States, which receives very little rain.
As you can see from this picture, he is a BIG FAT LIAR! In fact, I may have even asked him if his tushy was warm because his pants were you-know-what. On fire.
Getting used to all this rain has been difficult for me and my kids, seeing as were Americans and we don't walk or do anything in the rain. My oldest son, Alexander, plays for the American high school soccer team which often plays local German teams. For some reason, every Saturday for the last two months has seen rain. And every Saturday when I wake up and see the rain, I immediately assume they will cancel the game. That's what we did back home. Not here. You play in the rain.
I have a friend who has many German friends who like to walk and hike in the woods and she often makes plans to join them. On days when it's raining, she'll call her friends up and say "Well, I see it's raining out..." To which the Germans reply, "So?" You also hike in the rain.
You also ride your bike in the rain. You also walk your dog in the rain. You also carry groceries from the store in the rain.
Back home we got such infrequent rain that if the dog needed to go out and it was raining, we could wait for 10 minutes and it would usually pass and the sun would come out and dry up all the rain and then the isty-bitsy spider... you know the rest. Here in Germany, my husband will tell the kids, "Kids! Minkie Dog needs to go out."
"Da-ad. It's ra-aining though." And they will wait. Well, they wait for hours because that German rain isn't letting up and poor Minkie is doing the doggie version of the potty dance (much like the human version but with more barking.)
They even ask me to drive them to school when it's raining, even though it's so close we could probably spit to it. It's not their fault though. Back home, I did drive them when it was raining. We didn't have rain coats, we didn't have galoshes, and we only owned like two broken umbrellas that hardly were ever used. Here we have such an aversion to getting wet you would think we are this lady here.
Needless to say, the amount of rain Germany gets has taken some getting used to.
So that is why today I am sitting inside blogging instead of wandering the Odenwald, or sunning on the banks of the Neckar.
Or having a nice bratwurst and apfelkuchen right here at this table. Nope. Not today. Today I am going to search my favorite website, Zappos, for some new waterproof shoes. Maybe after I get them, I will go out. And I hope I don't melt.
Tchüß,
Kelly*
*Is determined that some day while she lives in Germany, she will be able to go out in the rain, and not be afraid of getting wet. Maybe after she gets these.
Update - May 2013 was one of the wettest months on record for much of Central Europe. Rivers through out the region reached levels that haven't been seen for 400 years the last week of May. Many towns throughout Germany, Czech Republic, and Austria had to evacuate people as rivers breached their banks.
Here is a list of things that I have learned this past November.
1. In five degree weather, no matter HOW MUCH ice melt you put down, ain't nuthin' gonna melt.
2. That I was really smart when two years ago I invested in waterproof, salt resistant, radiant heating, knee high snow boots.
3. That as long as I live in my neighborhood, I will want, no strike that, need to have a 4-wheel drive to access my own driveway.
4. That we will not be driving Matt's Saab until Spring
5. Or using the deck and patio furniture for that matter either.
6. That when you've been outside shoveling snow in a 15 degree blizzard, it takes approximately four times as long to warm up as it did to get cold.
7. That my street is the nexus of the weather universe where every storm that hits Utah converges and dumps twelve inches. Per storm.
8. That I never tire of watching my neighbors rev their Honda Civic back and forth trying to get unstuck.
9. That the guy down the street with the four-wheeler and attached plow is getting surprisingly more and more attractive every time he plows my driveway.
10. You should have a snow shovel for every person who lives in your home. You want to eat? You shovel.
11. Even when it stops snowing, that doesn't mean you're done shoveling. Ever heard of wind drifting snow? I'm talking 3-4 foot drifts. Against my back door. We were trapped!
12. And last, but certainly not least, that no matter how many times I tell my kids to keep track of their new gloves and hats, they lose them. Hence, Andre in a 10 year old bright orange hunters hat.
